Therapy Saved My Marriage—But First, It Saved Me
My Personal Journey to Therapy
There was a time when I thought therapy was for people who had hit rock bottom—people who were “broken” and needed “fixing.” I never imagined I’d be one of them. But life has a way of humbling you.
Years ago, my husband and I hit an extreme rough patch. Our communication had never been tested like this before, and suddenly, the idea of divorce wasn’t just a distant fear—it was a real possibility. During that time, I spiraled into a depression. I barely functioned as a mother or wife. I spent countless hours in bed, crying, unsure of how to pull myself out of it. That’s when we decided to give therapy a try. I won’t lie—I was hesitant. The idea of pouring my heart out to a stranger felt incredibly uncomfortable. I wasn’t even sure if therapy would help us. But at that moment, I was willing to try anything.
Fast forward to today, and therapy has completely changed the way I handle challenges in my life. It’s been a process—one filled with highs and lows—but it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
Let’s talk about why therapy is one of the most powerful forms of self-care, the benefits and challenges that come with it, and the stigma that still surrounds it today.
Why Therapy is a Form of Self-Care
We hear a lot about self-care these days—bubble baths, spa days, yoga retreats. But self-care isn’t just about relaxation. True self-care is about doing the hard work to take care of your mental and emotional well-being. Therapy is one of the deepest forms of self-care because it forces you to reflect, grow, and heal. It’s not just for people in crisis—it’s for anyone who wants to understand themselves better, improve relationships, and build resilience. Yet, despite its benefits, therapy still carries a stigma.
The Stigma Around Therapy
For a long time, society has made it seem like going to therapy means something is “wrong” with you. That you must be “out of control” or “weak” if you need professional help.
I felt that way, too, before I started. I wondered: “What if people judge me?”, “What if therapy doesn’t work?”, and “Am I just not strong enough to handle this on my own?” But let me tell you the truth about therapy: It’s not for the weak—it’s for the strong. It takes incredible courage to face your emotions head-on, to admit that you need guidance, and to work on yourself. Therapy isn’t about “fixing” you because you were never broken in the first place.
The Pros of Attending Therapy
A Safe Space to Be Honest
One of the most powerful things about therapy is that it’s a judgment-free zone. Unlike talking to friends or family—who may have their own biases—your therapist listens objectively. When I first started therapy, I was nervous about opening up. It felt weird spilling my deepest struggles to a stranger. But eventually, I realized: this is the one place where I don’t have to filter myself. No pretending. No sugarcoating. Just raw, honest emotions. And that alone was liberating.
Personal Growth & Self-Understanding
Therapy has helped me understand myself on a deeper level. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned? Looking at issues from multiple perspectives. Before therapy, I would react emotionally to situations without fully understanding the bigger picture. Now, I take the time to process, reflect, and respond instead of just reacting.
For example, I used to deal with a lot of triggers that kept setting me back. My therapist helped me identify those triggers and work through them—instead of letting them control me.
Improved Coping Strategies
I’ve learned techniques for handling stress, setting boundaries, and regulating my emotions—things I never knew I needed. Before therapy, I thought “coping” meant pushing through and pretending everything was fine. Now I know that true coping means:
∙ Identifying what I’m feeling
∙ Understanding where it’s coming from
∙ Using healthy strategies to manage it
Better Relationships
Therapy doesn’t just help you understand yourself—it helps you navigate relationships, too. For my husband and me, therapy transformed our communication. It taught us how to truly listen to each other, how to communicate without blame, and how to work as a team instead of as opponents. If you’re struggling in a relationship—whether romantic, familial, or friendships—therapy can make a huge difference in how you connect with others.
The Cons of Therapy
It Can Be Expensive
Therapy isn’t always cheap. While some insurance plans cover it, not everyone has access to affordable mental health care. If cost is a concern, there are alternatives:
∙ Sliding scale fees
∙ Online therapy (which tends to be more affordable)
∙ Community mental health resources
Finding the Right Therapist is Hard
Not every therapist is a good fit—and that’s okay. Finding the right therapist is like dating—you might have to go through a few before you find “the one.” But once you do, it’s totally worth it! I’ve had three different therapists before finding the right one. The first one wasn’t a great fit for my husband—he felt attacked instead of supported. The second one actually told me, “I’m not sure how else I can help you”—which was discouraging because I still felt like I had a long way to go. But when I found my current therapist, it clicked instantly. She’s been my therapist for over two years, and I still see her every two weeks.
Emotional Work is… Well, Work
Therapy isn’t always comfortable. I’ve had sessions that left me emotionally drained—ones where I walked out feeling worse before I felt better. It’s not easy digging into your past, facing painful memories, or confronting hard truths about yourself. But here’s what I’ve learned: the hardest sessions are often the ones that lead to the biggest breakthroughs.
Progress Takes Time
Therapy isn’t a quick fix—it’s a long-term investment. I used to expect instant results. I thought, “Okay, after a few sessions, I should feel better, right?” But healing doesn’t happen overnight. It takes consistent effort and a willingness to be patient with yourself. Some weeks, you’ll feel like you’ve made incredible progress. Other weeks, you’ll feel stuck. That’s normal. Growth isn’t linear, and therapy is about learning to be okay with that.
is therapy right for you?
So, should you try therapy? If you’re on the fence about therapy, my advice is this: Give it a try. You don’t have to commit forever. But even a few sessions might give you insights that can change your life. Here are some signs it might help:
✔ You feel overwhelmed and don’t know how to cope.
✔ You struggle with anxiety, depression, or past trauma.
✔ You have difficulty in relationships and want to improve communication.
✔ You want to grow, heal, and better understand yourself.
Final Thoughts: Therapy is Self-Care
If there’s one thing I want you to take away from this, it’s that therapy isn’t about fixing yourself—it’s about understanding and caring for yourself. Looking back, I can confidently say that therapy saved my marriage. More than that, it helped me rebuild my sense of self, find my strength, and learn how to handle life’s challenges in a healthier way. And for that, I will always be grateful.
If you’re considering therapy but are hesitant—I see you. I was in your shoes once, too. But I promise, choosing to take care of your mental health is one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself. Your mind deserves care, too.
